The Negotiator Magazine

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So, the sales manager says, "Well, just as a public relations gesture, let me give the other side a call anyway." The sales manager can hold it together, not necessarily because he's any brighter or sharper than the salesperson, but because he hasn't become emotionally involved with the people the way the salesperson has. Don't do that. Learn to concentrate on the issues.

Always Congratulate The Other Side
When you're through negotiating, you should always congratulate the other side. However poorly you think the other person may have done in the negotiations, congratulate them. Say, "Wow-did you do a fantastic job negotiating that. I realize that I didn't get as good a deal as I could have done, but frankly, it was worth it because I learned so much about negotiating. You were brilliant." You want the other person to feel that he or she won in the negotiations.

One of my clients is a large magazine publishing company that has me teach Power Negotiating to its sales force. When I was telling the salespeople how they should never gloat in a negotiation, the founder of the company jumped to his feet and said, "I want to tell you a story about that." Very agitated, he went on to tell the group, "My first magazine was about sailing, and I sold it to a huge New York magazine publisher. I flew up there to sign the final contract, and the moment I signed it and thanked them, they said to me, 'If you'd have been a better negotiator, we would have paid you a lot more.' That was 25 years ago and it still burns me up when I think about it today. I told them that if they had been better negotiators, I would have taken less." Let me ask you something. If that magazine publisher wanted to buy another one of his magazines, would he start by raising the price on them? Of course he would. However harmless it may seem, be sensitive to how you're reacting to the deal. Never gloat and always congratulate.

When I published my first book on negotiating a newspaper reviewed it and took exception to my saying that you should always congratulate, saying that it was manipulative to congratulate the other side when you didn't really think that they had won. I disagree. I look upon it as the ultimate in courtesy for the conqueror to congratulate the vanquished. When the British army and navy went down the Atlantic to recapture the Falkland Islands from the Argentineans, it was quite a rout. Within a few days, the Argentine navy lost most of its ships and the victory for the English was absolute. The evening after the Argentinean admiral surrendered, the English admiral invited him on board to dine with his officers and congratulated him on a splendid campaign.

Power Negotiators always want the other parties thinking that they won in the negotiations. It starts by asking for more than you expect to get. It continues through all of the other Gambits that are designed to service the perception that they're winning. It ends with congratulating the other side.

 If you let these five principles guide your conduct when you're negotiating, they will serve you well and help you become a Power Negotiator.

Roger Dawson, CSP, CPAE is one of North Americaís top negotiating experts and a leading sales and management speaker. He is the author of "Secrets of Power Negotiating" which is one of the biggest selling audiocassette programs ever published. His latest book "Power Negotiating for Salespeople" is now in bookstores and a must read for Realtors©. For information about Rogerís Keynote presentations and training sessions,  contact the Frog Pond at 800.704.FROG(3764) or email susie@frogpond.com

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