The Negotiator Magazine

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The fundamental skill of successful negotiators is simply to be in charge of themselves.

"What's in a few words?"
"What can it hurt if I reveal our urgency?"
"What can it matter if I'm a few minutes late?"

Uncontrolled talking (particularly under stress).
Unguarded comments.
Uncontrolled non-verbal communication.
Unplanned unpunctuality.


I am constantly surprised at how often people regard to be seen as "driven" is a positive attribute. As I see it, one is either driving or is driven. Driven people can achieve great feats but are rarely able to choose to ignore the drive.

"I'm gonna' make this sale if it's the last thing I do."
"This'll make me top salesman."
"I've got to make him understand my position."
"I've never lost a customer yet."

Lack of self control.
Need to dominate.
Inability to handle silence.
Need to explain.
Competitiveness (competitive people are easy to manipulate).

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May/June 2005