The Negotiator Magazine

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LACK OF SELF-CONTROL

The fundamental skill of successful negotiators is simply to be in charge of themselves.

Attitudes:
"What's in a few words?"
"What can it hurt if I reveal our urgency?"
"What can it matter if I'm a few minutes late?"

Behaviors:
Uncontrolled talking (particularly under stress).
Unguarded comments.
Uncontrolled non-verbal communication.
Unplanned unpunctuality.

DRIVES

I am constantly surprised at how often people regard to be seen as "driven" is a positive attribute. As I see it, one is either driving or is driven. Driven people can achieve great feats but are rarely able to choose to ignore the drive.

Attitudes:
"I'm gonna' make this sale if it's the last thing I do."
"This'll make me top salesman."
"I've got to make him understand my position."
"I've never lost a customer yet."

Behaviors:
Lack of self control.
Need to dominate.
Inability to handle silence.
Need to explain.
Competitiveness (competitive people are easy to manipulate).

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May/June 2005